Flash Backs to Declare His Glory

Psalm 96:3 - Publish His glorious deeds among the nations. Tell everyone about the amazing things He does.

I don't participate much in 'Christian culture' really. I tend to hang around on the fringes of that.

The Bible speaks a lot about what is supposed to happen when we have discovered Jesus.

Both those things – Christian culture and the Bible – basically agree that our main 'purposes' as people who say we believe Jesus is the Son of God are: to tell other people about Jesus so they can decide if they believe He is the Son of God and to tell of the amazing things that God has done in our lives so that He can be given glory. No biggies.

I don't do either of those things very often. Mostly because I am pretty sure if I started listing all the things that I know God did in my life, I would sound like I am lying or crazy. What is that? Fear, pride, undecided?

So here is one. One of the amazing things that God did in my life. Brooke.

I decided I believe that Jesus is the Son of God in 1997 I think. I am not good at remembering important dates, sorry. Shortly after that, I was consumed by an overwhelming obsession to have children, which was incredibly strange, since I had vowed to never have children. They annoyed me. With my staggeringly limited knowledge of God and how He worked, the thought dawned on me that it was HIM giving me the desire to have a baby. So then, it should all be easy peasy I figured.

Nope. We got pregnant fairly soon after we decided to try and three months in lost the baby. That did nothing good for my 'new faith'. At this point I was also struggling with depression and mental and emotional issues that I didn't even have names for. We were part of a small life group and I hadn't told them I was pregnant or that I had miscarried. I don't really remember the details of how everyone ended up finding out, but it was intense when they did. I sheepishly told them 'the thing' -- about how I felt like God was giving me a desire to have children but how confusing it was that I had lost one.

This revelation kickstarted about a two year stretch of prayer, healing and the beginnings of figuring out this 'relationship with God'. Here are three of the most prominent moments of that two year stretch:

1) Our Homechurch took a group of youth to a conference. At one point, the Pastor called any of the 'youth' up that felt they needed prayer. Of course, I was not a youth, but felt a strong tug to go get prayer. The Pastor was travelling along a line of youth and praying what he felt led to over them. He got to me and immediately began praying about babies! Side note: I spoke to him later and he was glad I had approached him because he said he had felt very uncomfortable praying for someone to have babies at a 'youth conference'! He was glad to know I was a married adult.

2) Some of the women in my homegroup felt led to pray healing prayers over me for physical and emotional restoration, so they did. One of our youth walked up to me one day out of the blue, put her hand on my shoulder, looked into my soul and declared, "Don't worry, you WILL have a baby."

3) At a different conference, the speaker offered to pray for me, and he spoke a 'life scripture' over me: Philippians 4:7 – "And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." When we did finally believe we were having a baby and picked a girl's name, the first from Koos' grandmother – Brooke and the middle from my grandmother – Olive (Olivia), we realized it means "stream of peace".

And there it is. It wasn't so obvious at the time, but looking back I can see just how involved God was with putting Brooke into our lives.

And come to think of it, even though this started out as 'one' thing God did, I can confidently add that He did it three more times.

On the way to the hospital, not-quite-two year old Brooke, wide awake at 3:00 am kept declaring, "My baby sister is coming, my baby sister is coming!" "It might be a brother Brooke, don't be sad if it is a brother." "Nope! My baby sister is coming!" Welcome Delaena – baby sister.

We decided to find out the third baby's gender at the ultrasound, except 'it' crossed 'its' legs and the technician couldn't tell. Again, Brooke - before she was four years old and I was only about five months pregnant - started asking, "When is baby Calahn getting here?" "Who is baby Calahn?" "The baby in your tummy!" What the heck? We had never heard the name Calahn and couldn't figure out where Brooke would have heard it either. And at that time, we had no idea how it was spelled or if it was a boy or girl name. But somehow, God was making it clear through Brooke, Calahn was on her way.

My pregnancies were pretty awful. I threw up almost the entire nine months, couldn't eat and lost weight. I still felt like after Calahn, we were not done having kids. It was again - a confusing thing, knowing I would be incredibly sick and trying to take care of three other kids but feeling like we were supposed to have one more.  And I thought it would be cool to have a boy.

In no uncertain terms, after Kael was born - rather dramatically because I was so sick - the doctors told us, "No more kids. You are lucky you both survived." Apparently, I had severe 'cholestastis of pregnancy'. Basically, my liver was not functioning properly while I was pregnant.  We were also informed we had been "lucky" that I and any of the girls had survived either.  It was unusual that myself and one baby had come away healthy from 'cholestastis of pregnancy', let alone four babies.

You can bet I questioned my sanity and my "God hearing" abilities after that. But just to reassure me that I was not nuts, God had one more confirmation waiting.

We were at my Mom's when Kael was born. I had been so sick I didn't have any energy to look after myself, three girls aged six and under and a newborn. So Mom was up to bat. One day a flower delivery arrived at Mom's place from Koos' employer back in Hay River. In it, were four old fashioned wooden play blocks, perfectly arranged in the order of Kael's initials: C.J.G.R. – Kael Josiah Gabriel Reintjes. Except, they had mistakenly put a 'C' block instead of the 'K'.

Brooke must have taken this picture. 
She felt she had free rein with the camera when I was busy with her new baby brother.
Who knew I'd use it in a blog twelve years later?

"No problem!" Mom declared, "I will stop by the flower shop and see if they can replace the C with a K." So Mom arrives at the flower shop and asks the lady at the counter if she could replace the 'C' block with a 'K' block. The lady kind of looked at Mom oddly, "Sure?!" "Well," Mom starts to explain, "The baby's first name, Kael, is spelled with a K, not a C." "Okay, Gwen..." Mom's town was a small town, so everyone knew everyone and the flower store lady remembered doing the order. Again, Mom was trying to make herself understood, "Well, you got the baby's other initials right, the 'J.G.R.', but Kael is spelled with a K not a C." Mom said the flower lady was quiet for a minute and then stated, "But we didn't know the baby's name, we just randomly put some old blocks in there that we had sitting in the back..." WHAT?? They both looked at each other I guess, and then the flower lady said, "It wasn't a full set of blocks, I will go see if we happen to have a K." And sure enough, there was a K.

After Kael was born, we told all our praying friends to STOP praying for kids for us, hahaha!

You can see the blocks to the left of his head. 
I just realized they were even color coordinated!

And that is how our family came about. These are just the first four of the 'amazing things' to declare that God has done for us.

About 2048 Days

Five years, seven months, one week, 144 hours and twenty-six minutes. Something like that. The last time I wrote on this blog.

I am running through my memories to try pinpoint the reason or moment I quit. What made me think it wasn't worth posting on here? I believe, if I am honest, that it was around the time we realized we probably weren't going to Brazil any time soon. And as it turns out, any time ever. That wrecked me a bit, a lot.

And it seems like life sort of stopped. But it didn't, it kept going – hard.

I wound up on this blog today, through a random set of circumstances. I scrolled. And reminisced.

Dreams – or more accurately probably – the things your sense of worth or purpose are attached to, when they die, that part of you dies - hard.

I have grieved a lot in my forty-four some years, but I have not grieved as intensely as I have been since the 'day the dream died'.

And then other really bad **** happened. I am not dramatic enough to say it was the worst possible **** that could happen to anyone, but it was bad and it wrecked me some more.

So I am different now. I have read through this blog and I remember that person who wrote those things and who had that optimistic outlook on life. But I am not her.

I am harder, undoubtedly angrier. And I have learned to say “**** you, enemy.”  A lot. Because I know he came for us. And he did a lot of damage. But he did not win. In fact, he made me harder and angrier and now I know where to laser focus that. I am coming for you now. You probably should tremble. I know now better than I ever knew before Who I belong to and with the two of us in cahoots, you are kind of doomed. Severely hooped, actually.

I know you are already beaten, I do not know how it exactly will look when I add to your *** kicking. It may be in some gigantic, glorious moment, or it may be more subtly, in day by day little things. Or it may be both. But it is going to happen. Your time on this planet is getting shorter and shorter and I will do my part to expedite your demise. I remember now that we were going to do that. It may not be in Brazil, but it...will...BE... Thank you for the new purpose.

And now, to the actual update. We are still in Duncan. We eventually, in miraculous fashion, found a house. Had it dropped in our laps, more specifically - in an amazing crescent, with amazing neighbours. Finances still suck, are worse actually, and I am looking at part time work, which also sucks. I am not a multi-tasker, so the idea of working, organising the house, homeschooling, etc. is hugely daunting.

We have retired from On the Road. Koos and the kids put in about seven years of Sundays. I had opted out at about the six year mark. We are still in touch with some of the families.

Our weekends now are taken up in the winter by competitive junior curling and in the summer by dog agility trials. When we are not completely exhausted, we are thankful that New Life has 7:00 pm services.

Brooke, Delaena and Calahn have been on the youth worship team since last year. We just realized Kael is old enough now too, so he is also going to give it a try.

Koos is a service advisor at BowMel Chrysler. We lost his Dad in March and were in Hines Creek in April for the service.

My Mom is in Calgary now, enjoying lots of time with her two youngest grandkids. We all pop back and forth fairly often to see her and her to see us.  A visit is close on the horizon!

Caitlind is married to the most awesome Travis. Brooke and I got to go to their wedding in September. They are doing really well in Hay River and we are excited that they will be coming to the Island for a visit soon.

Brooke is 17, in grade 12 and just has a couple math courses to officially 'graduate'. She spends her winters curling and her summers dangling from mountains and trudging through caves with WildSide at Camp Imadene. This past curling season saw her and Delaena at BC Provincials with their girls' under 18 team. She is a part time nanny right now and will be headed out on a week long hiking trip with her school's Adventure Discipleship Program in a couple of weeks. She will also take a crack at her “official” driver's license this summer.

Delaena is 15, in grade 10. She spent her last winter curling as well, but is most excited that agility has begun. She has been training hard and will be going to BC/Yukon Regionals on the mainland in June with a new pup named Lotus, she's a Pomeranian x Boston Terrier and seems to be a mad genius at agility. Delaena still runs DoJo, and has started a specialized sort of obedience with him as well. Oats also participates and is getting quite proficient at agility – when the treats are good enough and she feels like it. Delaena is working at Buddies Natural Pet Food part time. She has a great system going to trade for dog food and earn work experience hours.

Calahn is almost 14, in grade 8. She has an amazing hobby designing and building barns, arenas, riding rings, you name it, for her “Schleich” horses. Her attention to little details and patience in constructing is fascinating. She tried her hand at Musical Theatre in the summer of 2016 in a mini-production of “Annie”. She was hooked and debuted in a longer production of Dr. DoLittle as “Emma Fairfax”. This year she has landed the role of “Smee”, Captain Hook's right hand pirate, in a full length version of Peter Pan. They hit the stage in our big theatre in June.

Kael just turned 11, in grade 5. He is still on the swim team and though he isn't really into competing, he is still working hard to become a great swimmer and some day a lifeguard so he can work at camp in the summer with Brooke. He also decided to try Musical Theatre this year and is a “Lost Boy” with a small speaking role, in the same production as Calahn. When he is not busy swimming or practising theatre, he is hanging out with his buddies on the block.

So ya, even though I stopped, life went on. And now I think I am ready to as well. Time to leave the past back there and step into whatever new lies in front. And kick some devil *** while I am at it.

That's right...you better Run devil Run...

“Therefore submit to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.” James 4:7

The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life."  John 10:10

What's Going on Around Here?

  

It is funny how the same period of time can seem like it rushed by, yet dragged at a snail's pace, or in keeping in the spirit of living on the Island, a slug's pace.

Nothing MAJOR has happened, so in the grand scheme, it seems like these past three months between blog posts have just limped along, grains of sand slipping through the hourglass.  And then I started looking through photos, certain that there would be nothing to post, and ended up having to limit myself to only a few!  I seem to have a habit of doing that.  Not being able to see the little things as building blocks to unknown major things.  I think I did it last year too.  Not realizing what the year had held until I wrote the Christmas newsletter.

I opened my day timer to July 27 and started flipping through the pages.  And it hit me - some of these little things have some fairly major implications if I stop and take the time to consider them.

Here's just a quick rundown:

First ever literacy camp held on Boys Road.  (photos on Facebook)

Awesome visit with my Mom and my brother and his family.  (photos soon to be on Facebook)

Awesome visit with Caitlind.  (most of the time too busy laughing hysterically to take photos)

Brooke painted her first 'commissioned' work for the Bolivia mission trip fundraiser.  (photo on Facebook)

Brooke started youth group.  (I am still not coping well with that one, although Delaena keeps telling me I should just 'deal with it Mom'!)

We got to visit with cousins from my Dad's side of the family that we haven't seen in 20+ years.

We got to participate in Mark and Erika's wedding.

Both Brooke and Delaena have biked 'Mount Sherman' with Dad on his way to work.

We got a visit from Dan and Sandy and Sandy is looking quite healthy and like herself again!

We have resumed homeschooling.


I launched a new blog.  From ACOA to Daughter of God

I have a new favorite song.  Hold On To Me

Nothing huge.  Until I look at the implications:  I have adventurous daughters who are growing up without fear.  There are connections with my Dad's family that I thought might be forever lost, but as you can see from the picture directly below, there is no doubt that my kids are part of his clan.  We will be forever connected to Mark and Erika, we will always be able to say, "We were there at the beginning and we are here now."  My experiences in life and the things I have learned through them, might encourage someone else, just when they need it.  We may not always get to be geographically close to our dearest friends and family, but when we do get to be together, we can laugh hysterically.

So, what's going on around here? 

Nothing much. 

Too much to fully understand.

How about you?  What's going on with you?

So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up.  Galatians 6:9 (NLT)

Be patient, then, brothers, until the Lord's coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop and how patient he is for the autumn and spring rains.  James 5:7 (NIV)

Many Thanks

 

 Elli-Rose! One of our best buds from Hay River, here for a summer visit!

So it's been a month since my last blog.  The blog of desperation.  Today is a better day.  Here is the song I am listening to today.  You should give it a listen.  Not just because it is Third Day (although that should be reason enough), but because it is a really cool song:  Your Love is Like A River.  And this is the song that has helped get me through the last month and has helped make today a better day.  It is so true.  His love is never going to stop, no matter what circumstances we are up against.

The title of this blog is Many Thanks.  So I will get to that.  We have been encouraged way beyond words this last month.  Emails, phone calls, Facebook messages and even letters via snail mail!!  People have come over for coffee just to check up on us.  Wow.  More opportunities to be humbled and to learn to say thank you without squirming or flinching.  We are getting better at it.

I am just going to list the cool things that have happened.

1.  I have been initiated into the world of bank deposits via email.  That is a pretty neat system.  Friends and family have knocked back about half of our Visa balance all from the comfort of my desk chair and computer!  I can tell they all know I prefer to do my 'banking' in my pajamas.

2.  Conversely, even in this day and age of technology, we are so grateful for those diehards who write cheques and send them in the mail.  And the timing on those things has been amazing.

     We told Calahn we would take her to the beach for her birthday, only to realize we had no gas in the truck.  We were pondering what to do when someone checked the mailbox and of course there was a cheque in there.  We put gas in the truck and went to the beach for Calahn's birthday.

     Calahn and Kael got some dental work done.  I handed the debit card to the receptionist and wondered how this was going to work out, since our 20% was going to put us over the 'down to the penny' budget I managed to create.  We got home from the appointment, grabbed the mail and you guessed it, there was a cheque in there. 

3.  Friends have come to our door and said, "This cash was just in my pocket, it is yours."

4.  We've been handed envelopes of cash, by friends from themselves and by friends on behalf of others who wish to remain anonymous.  

5.  We found an envelope of cash in our mailbox with "For the Reintjes Family, Love Jesus" written on it.

     This one particularly impressed Kael,  "God really does know EVERYTHING!  He even told Jesus which mailbox belongs to us!"

6.  We've been given baskets and bags of fresh garden veggies and 'canned at home' goods.  We've been been given large coolers full of frozen meat and vegetables.  We've been given gift certificates for Walmart and Superstore.

7.  My child tax benefits have increased significantly (about time I see some payoff for putting up with these kids for so long).  Just kidding - I've learned my lesson about entitlement, remember?  But now there is a greater margin between our income and our expenses.  We have some more breathing room.

People have been praying for us and sending us encouraging scripture.  That is the most noticeable thing of all.  Even though circumstances haven't changed much, we have.  And that is always the point.

We've been humbled, but at the same time, graciously and abundantly provided for.  That is just how our God gets things done.  And though it seems rather inadequate we say again, 'thank you' to all of those who were obedient in playing a part.

And may your blessings be returned upon you a thousandfold.

     

              

 

Getting Kicked in the....

...pride.

That's what's been going on in our lives lately.  We've been getting the pride kicked right out of us.  It hurts.  I don't like it.  It really stinks when you realize you are wrong.

Here's a snippet of the conversation I had with God the other morning at about 5:00 am.

Me:  This stinks God, I don't like it.  You can do the miracle any time now.

God:  Good morning to you too.

Me:  We didn't win the 50 million again on Friday.

God:  You're not going to win the 50 million.  You'd best get over it.

Me:  Oh, so You're going to do the 100 million from some gazillionaire in Dubai, I just have to have a little more faith and patience, right?!

God:  Stop now.

Me:  We're really, really, really broke.  Credit card is officially maxed out.  There is now $400 to spend on groceries, etc. after expenses.  One trip to Walmart costs at least $200, one fill up at the station $100.  Numbers don't add up.  I don't want to clip coupons.  Home and auto insurance, due soon.  Kids need to go to the dentist, we still have to pay that 20%.

God:  I know.

Me:  Now is when I'm supposed to ask, "What am I supposed to learn out of this experience?"  Right?

God:  Yes.

Me:  I hate that question.

God:  I know.

Me:  What am I supposed to learn out of this experience?

God:   Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.

Me:  No.  I don't want to ask for help.  I don't want to tell people how needy we are.

God:   Pride ends in humiliation, while humility brings honor.

Me:  What?????  I am not proud!!!  Have You not noticed that we are amazing helpers?  We have NEVER been the helpees.  We are NOT LIKE all those people who are always asking for HELP and acting all NEEDY and stuff.  We are always putting others before ourselves, we tithe (except for when we got mad at You and didn't), we have sponsor children.  Are You not paying ATTENTION, God???  We ROCK at this not letting money be our master thing.  Pride? Are You kidding??

God:  silence 

(if He had eyeballs, there would have been a colossal eyeball roll)

Me:  Oh, c**p.

God:  Mmmhmmm.

And so now, here I am.  I am not sure really what I am doing.  Asking for help? Confessing?  Feeling really stupid?  Well, no, I know I am feeling really stupid.

I've had the opportunity to spend some time in a local food bank.  When I am there, I am the helper.  I help the needy.  And I know that good and decent helpers do not judge the needy.  But guess what?  What I know and what I do are apparently two different things.  So I found out at 5:03 that morning.

Part of what I've had to do is look at people's 'financial situations' and basically decide if they are trying to scam the system or honestly are 'needy'.  I find myself looking at the 'magic number' of income left after expenses and questioning in my mind, 'Seriously, you can't buy some groceries with some of that money?  You can't make it stretch just that little bit farther?'  'Well, that's what happens when you don't have a job and are trying to live off the government.'  Rational and responsible thoughts.  Because I am the helper and I know what I'm thinking about.  Not.

We are responsible citizens.  Koos does have a job and he's been promoted to manager after only six or so months of  working there.  (No pride there, really, just kind of astonishment.)  We even give unto Caesar what is Caesar's without grumbling too much.  

Practically, we have a plan for this.  We will apply for a line of credit with a lower interest rate than the credit card.  (As if the bank will give us one, after they look at our financial situation.)  I guess I can jump back into the workforce, the kids can go to public school, cash in the RRSPs, sell the dog.  We've had all the 'what to do in a financial crisis' conversations.

But what has caught me off guard and what I think (at least I hope) is the point of this exercise, is that I have now been exposed to the way having not quite enough money - in a society that is all about money - makes you kind of crazy in the head.  I assumed that if I ever 'got here' I would put all my faith in Jesus, recite all the proper money related scriptures, carefully plan and scrimp and save, and fall asleep peacefully at night waiting for the miracle to happen.

Not so.  In fact here's what has actually happened:

"I don't care if the credit card is going to max out soon.  I AM GOING to the Third Day concert and I AM BUYING the VIP tickets.  And the T-Shirt and the wrist bands and the hoody AND the online concert."  "Take that financial responsibility."

"Kael will be sad if we don't go to Camp Qwanoes this year.  It is okay if the credit card is almost maxed out, we don't want him to be sad about Camp Qwanoes.  He really likes it."  Well, there's a good chance he's going to be sad if we have to tell him he doesn't get to eat next month, too.

That government system of giving handouts that I've criticized people for using?  Can't wait for it to kick in.  I am feeling pretty 'owed' for all those years Koos and I have paid into it.

What the???  Where has all the logic gone?  And so much for dignity and scoffing at those with entitlement issues.  I have learned of late that when desperation (even perceived desperation) sets in, logic scampers off.  And I know better!  Whatever that means.

And I have support.  What if I didn't have support?  And I have hope.  What if I didn't have hope?

And now, I seem to be getting some compassion.  

Ironically, this is about the time we are supposed to be starting to 'fundraise' if we are serious about going to Brazil in the fall of 2013.  I have been loathe to begin that process.  After all, that must be the most humiliating part of working outside your own country, right?  It is very cool and awesome of us that we like to give to missionaries, but please oh please, do NOT make us ask.  Speak to that guy in Dubai, God.

Instead, I feel like I am basically fundraising while we're still in Canada, so we can live in Canada.  I am gagging on humble pie as I type this.

All attempts at humor aside.  We are broke. It has taken me two days to finish this blog because I just do NOT want to post it, but I know it is part of the process.

I have no problem asking people for prayer.  We are going to need a new skill set to manage this next way of living.  I haven't had to budget to the penny since before we had kids.  I haven't had to say no to my kids when they've asked to go to the pool or the movie theater.  I have teetered on the edge of depression lately and I do not want to fall back into that pit.  I am questioning.  Did we make a mistake moving here?  Did we not hear God right?  Are we doing something wrong?

But at the same time, there is this strange undercurrent of excitement!  What ARE You up to God?

Recently, new friends of ours from church have been going through a similar experience and I am buoyed by the grace they've walked through it with.  Incidentally, she pointed out that there is a little comment on the back of a Visa statement that indicates how long it will take you to pay it off if you only make minimum payments.  We are up to 75 years and 11 months.  Nice.

And I am reminded already that God is good, and faithful.  Even in my procrastination, He has blessed us.  I opened an email from Hay River yesterday in which our Pastors stated (paraphrased), "We were praying for you last night and God told us to send you a cheque for $significant.  What is going on?"  Blessed and busted all at the same time.

We got a phone call yesterday morning from our dear friends John and Antoinette - that knocked our socks off with its possible spiritual repercussions.  If we hadn't have come to Duncan, this definitely would have been a missed blessing.  Maybe we are supposed to be here.

I do have a problem asking for help.  I am not sure really what to even ask for.  It honestly does seem dumb to ask for money.  But when it all comes down to it, that is what we need.  And I know that His ways are not mine and His thoughts are not mine.  He might be doing something - in, for, with - someone else, as well as us, that I have no concept of.

So....gulp.  If...you...feel...led...to...help...financially...gulp,...we...would...be...grateful.  I can't even assuage my pride and say we would pay you back.

As my theme song to this final part of the blog, I am listening to 'Blaze of Glory' by Jon Bon Jovi.  'Cause it feels like we are about to go down in one.  Next up on the mournful, feeling sorry for myself playlist, Guns N' Roses 'Knockin' On Heaven's Door'.

Third Day and Bits of Info.

Mother's Day weekend 2012.  One I will never forget.  I got to spend about two hours with the two coolest groups of people in my life.  My family and Third Day.  I really don't have the words to describe it.  So I won't try.  But I will share a few little highlights.

1.   We splurged on VIP tickets and were at the concert early.  While in line we met a fabulous couple who live in Vancouver.

2.  Brooke made a poster that said, "You Rock, Tai!" and he saw it and waved at her, and Koos just happened to catch it on video!  And by now everyone knows the sad story of the guitar pick, so I won't go into that again.

3.  We were in the second row, so Mac saw Delaena, Kael and Calahn all rocking out and having a great time and at some point in the show, pointed at, or gave a thumbs up or smile to each of them.  I managed to catch him smile at Kael on video too!

4.  Delaena seems to be a natural born rocker.  I think she maybe sat down twice during the whole show (all four artists).  We could barely roll her out of bed the next day!

5.  We had written out the lyrics to Show Me Your Glory, my favorite song, because sometimes if you have the lyrics for a song, Third Day will play it for the acoustic set.  Surprisingly, they played the acoustic set in the middle of the arena instead of on the main stage.  We were very far away and kind of sad, but someone else wanted Show Me Your Glory and Mac heard them yell it and they played it!!  It was as awesome as I thought it would be!

6.  Calahn fell asleep right near the end of the concert on my knee.  She was out like a light, but when the guys started playing Tunnel, one of our favorite songs, she jolted awake, rocked out to it and then passed back out on the chairs when it was over.

7.   On the very last song, the guys sang part of a tune that I was sure was by the Eagles, which totally took me back to my childhood.  Upon further investigation, I discovered it was indeed the Eagles, Seven Bridges Road!  Koos got that one on video for me!

8.  We met another amazing couple at the hotel (from William's Lake) the next day, who had also gone to the concert and loved it.  Had a great conversation with them, too!

Treasured family memories and new friends, what more could a Mom ask for?

Oh wait, there WAS even more!!  Rick and Deanna graciously fit a visit with us into their crazy busy schedule and just before we were ready to head for the ferry, who comes strolling up the hill?  Dan and SANDY!!!  My goodness, was it good to see her up and about!  Perhaps a little weak physically, but strong and encouraging in spirit.  The kids had a blast with the Bergen girls as always!  Knowing these two families has been such a gift to us.

On a bit of a general update note:

I connected with an inspiring lady here in town who was a missionary in Portuguese speaking countries for 30 years.  She is patiently sitting with me an hour a week while I butcher the language.

Just yesterday, Koos was asked if he would consider the manager position at the Lake Cowichan shop.  We will know the details by the end of May.

Brooke had a fantastic time with her Grandma, Uncle, Aunty and cousins in California.  The experience ignited a fire in her bones to travel, that is for sure!

And that is about it for now.  I want to keep this blog for family updates, but have been feeling like writing about other subjects, so I'm gathering the courage to launch another blog soon.  Keep an eye out!  Thanks for reading!

Worse Than the Worst Case Scenario

A quarter of the way through 2010, Koos and I were presented with a decision we had to make. Some of you may jump ahead and conclude that we had to choose if we were going to move to Duncan or not. And knowing the surface details, that would be a good conclusion. But deep down, that wasn't the real decision. The real dilemma was, 'are we crazy or not?'.

Did Koos actually 'hear' God say, "Go help Rick and Deanna." or was it the product of being on night shift for too long and inhaling too many diesel fumes? Was his hard hat too tight? Trust me, I asked ALL the questions.

If Koos really wasn't just having a mid-life crisis, God was asking us to give up (materially) a six figure pay cheque and a lovely five bedroom house with a fully finished basement and three full bathrooms. (I am trying to sound like a real-estate ad on purpose.) Not to mention the majority of our earthly possessions because we could only take a small cargo trailer with us.

We had moved before at God's prompting, but - materially speaking - we were going to be 'making progress'. The pay cheque and the house would be bigger.

So in 'debating' whether or not this move was of God - (and yes, I have submitted a new definition for 'debating', which goes like this: to scream and shout loudly while including the occasional profanity and maintaining just enough to self control to not hurl objects at the opposition) - we thought it would comfort us to come up with a 'worse case scenario'.

And it was this: Worse case scenario, we get to Duncan, realize we aren't supposed to go to Brazil and have to start life all over. Starting life all over would entail finding a new job and purchasing a new house and getting re-established, not too big of a deal. We can do that.

Except. We can't. Oh, oh. Our current situation is in some ways worse than our worse case scenario. Now what? As far as we know, we are still going to Brazil. Sometime in 2013 hopefully. We hadn't really 'planned' on being here that long, so that was the first adjustment we had to make in our minds. And Koos found a job and there is a really neat house close to the school we would like to purchase.

But, we appear to have been done in by the current economy. Koos' pay cheque and the price of the house are not being friends, they are not co operating. In fact, Koos' cheque won't even qualify us to buy this place when our contract expires. We do not qualify for a mortgage on beautiful Vancouver Island.

I am wondering if I am in shock and denial, because this technically should be cause for panic and depression. This is some pretty good evidence that we may indeed be crazy. Bonkers. Completely out of our minds.

I am not panicking though and so far depression has kept to itself. The timing of this news was interesting, considering I had just posted a blog about Sonshine. Perhaps this is the first test of how solidly rooted this new joy thing really is.

And I am doing a second thing that is completely out of character. I am asking for help. We could really use some extra prayer and encouragement right now. Above and beyond what we are already blessed with. Especially some encouragement in the form of stories that go like this, "Once... we thought we were crazy, but in the end, the Creator sorted it all out and it was awesome." Yes, we'd really like some stories like that.

Have you ever thought the scenario you were in was worse than the worst case, but then were 'rescued'?

I have added a picture of our old house in Hay River for dramatic effect.

PS I don't miss the snow, just the house.

Sonshine Anyone?

Caitlind gave me this mug. After about six months of living with us, she had me pegged.

If she wanted, 'solid advice', 'Biblical wisdom' or 'accurate psychological analysis' of an emotional issue, I was the girl to come to. If she wanted sunshine, too bad. Call a different friend.
Now, does that mean I was rude, derogatory or insensitive? No, in fact, by the grace of God only, I was usually none of those things. I could quite effectively boost her spirits, cheer her on and coax her to finish that Bio. assignment that she just didn't want to finish. Just without the sunshine. I had perfected the art, somehow, of blowing sunshine, without the ummmm, sunshine.

For the older generation out there, when Caitlind was frustrated at my lack of sunshine she would call me Spock. For the younger generation, when Caitlind was frustrated at my lack of sunshine, she would call me Sheldon. Crazily enough, I didn't mind either. Had a distorted sense of pride about it even.

Until just recently. Something started to stir in me. Caitlind was here when it began. We were having one of our usual 'gab sessions' in her room and she was pondering some important life question, rather sadly. Some optimistic, almost cheerful comment came out of my mouth and stopped her mid-sentence. My eyes widened in horror.

"You didn't just?..."
"Oh my, I think I may have..."

I had blown sunshine. For no other reason than - I could. I wasn't trying to impress anyone with my sensitivity to their situation, I wasn't trying to put a 'positive spin' on an otherwise dreary circumstance. It just seemed like a good time to be (gasp) happy.

Now, I realize I might be getting myself into some hot water here. There may be people reading this and thinking, 'Hang on a minute, Aubrey said this encouraging thing to me once or offered me that piece of merriment. Was it fake, was it NOT REAL SUNSHINE?'

And this is where I have to hang my head and confess. In all likelihood, it was not real sunshine. It was well intentioned and sincere, but, I probably wasn't feeling it with you. I was telling you to go ahead and do it, but wasn't willing, or able in fact, to participate.

Hmmmmm. Weird, huh? Well, not really. I think there are a lot more Spocks and Sheldons out there than one would guess. At least I am hoping. I can't possibly be the only one who was dead inside to joy?

And here is where I insert a piece of 'news'. I am going to be attempting a new blog. This one will continue to be for updating interested parties of our comings and goings as a family. The new one will be for me to hopefully encourage people who have come from pasts similar to mine, (or maybe completely different) to see that lasting, sunshiny change is possible if you know where to look for it.

Back to the point. One of my favorite Third Day songs is called "This is Who I Am." Part of it goes like this:

This is who I am, oh, this is who I am
So take me and make me something so much more
This is who I am, oh, this is who I am
So change me and make me someone better than before

Apparently, if you belt this song out at the top of your lungs for enough days on end, God listens and starts changing you. Either that or He just wants you to stop singing, so He starts doing what you've asked.

Regardless, He has done it. I had deadened myself (on purpose) to pain and in the process (but not on purpose) deadened myself to joy. But He has awoken that sense of joy in me (and with it a sense of pain again, but that I will talk about more in the other blog) and my outlook on life has become - surprisingly sunshiny.

Darn it, I meant to get to the point, and I didn't. Here it is for real this time. All the sunshine around here has been a bit blinding and I think has made us all a little strange in the head. It has made us think taking Godly risks might not be such a bad thing after all and it has overridden a lot of the 'well that's just not practical' objections.

And now we have a list. A list of positive, exciting, character and faith building things we want to do. And we have no way financially or time-wise to do any of them. Fun and sunshiny, eh?

Here is the list:

April - send our oldest daughter to California with her Grandmother, Uncle & Aunt and two cousins and not us

May - Third Day concert in Langley (6 VIP Packages)

June - Family Retreat at Camp Qwanoes

TBA - Short Term Mission to Brazil

1 Chronicles 16 says this:

²³ Let the whole earth sing to the LORD!
Each day proclaim the good news that he saves.
²⁴ Publish his glorious deeds among the nations.
Tell everyone about the amazing things he does.
²⁵ Great is the LORD! He is most worthy of praise!
He is to be feared above all gods.

And that is what I am doing today. I am publishing His glorious deeds - well the one that involved making me feel sunshiny anyway - and am looking forward to publishing some more, when He shows us how He's going to go about helping us get that list accomplished.

Aahhhhhh, feel the Sonshine!

Good-bye Broken Park, Hello Um, Well....Hmm?

Well, we kept hearing rumblings. "The park is coming down for new housing." The bad news had been circulating for a while and nothing definite had happened, so I suppose, maybe, we kind of thought it was indeed just a rumor.

But today, we got down there and it was for real. The broken park is broken forever. It is very exciting that new housing is going in there, but..."Good-bye broken park."

So, we moved on down the road just a little, into a bit of a crescent, thinking it would be a safe place for the kids to play. Let's just say we were met with less than a warm and inviting welcome. More of a door slammed in our faces, literally. So, we prayed for guidance, dismantled the tents and went for help.

Within seconds of showing up on Grandma Lena's door, she was out in the rain in her trusty chair banging on doors, convincing people to let us park in their driveways. And. It worked. Just like that. Grandma got the job done. I really never had any doubt.

And the kids found us. We weren't too far from our normal spot, but it was different. And they didn't care. They played, they snacked on Valentine's cupcakes and they made the best of it. So all of us adults took their cue.We set up 'road patrols'. Mostly TC guys who stood on the road and yelled 'CAR', so we could clear all the bikes, skippers, etc. out of the way to let the vehicles pass. And you should have seen the looks we got. We've been down there a few Sundays now and none of us could recall there being so much traffic. You could see the grins on most of the drivers' faces as they patiently waited for us to make way. Pretty impressive P.R.

I was chatting with Grandma and surveying the scene and felt like we had just had our own version of Acts 8:1. "On that day a great persecution broke out against the church in Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria." We kind of got the boot from our regular stomping grounds, only to land in territory we hadn't reached yet. The driveway we ended up parking in was right between two houses with little kids in them. None of them had been to visit us on a Sunday yet, even though they could see the park from their front steps.

There is NO WAY you don't come out and join a bunch of crazy people in the rain, playing loud music and eating pink cupcakes; when they are parked in YOUR driveway with a big white van and bright green and blue trailer. You just cannot avoid that.

And so, we met two new families that we likely would not have, had we stayed put on the playground. Go figure.


So, what's next for Kidzone on the Road? Only God knows. But we aren't worried. We will just keep showing up down there, and if today is any indication, at least half the people will let us park in their driveways.

So, kudos to an amazing team today that just rolled with the punches and did what needed to be done. I say, "Way to go team! Now, let's get scattered."

God Can't Heal the Cover Up

Attending 'special events' with this church we now call home never fails to mess us up spiritually somehow. David Chotka is here. I am going to plead ignorance, I had not heard of him until New Life started pitching his visit. We attended the first evening of teaching yesterday. And he messed us up spiritually somehow.

Someday I will tell the entire tale, but for now I will stick to the theme in the title of this post. Rev. Chotka informed us that there are two things God cannot do. He cannot sin and He cannot heal the cover up. Then Rev. Chotka told a personal story that he has not told in his entire ministry career, but that he felt the Lord prompting him to share specifically, about a cover up he had been trying to 'keep from God' and was repeatedly warned against. Then Pastor Mark confirmed that Rev. Chotka had shared that story to speak to 'at least one person' in attendance. "If you have been living a lie, tonight you should deal with it before God."

Koos and I were both sweating in our seats. We knew it was us. Just the night before I had had an emotional meltdown and had hurled those very words at my husband, "I am so sick of being fake, none of this is real, I don't want to do it anymore." And the strangest thing is, I can't even really put my finger on what precisely I was yelling about. I just knew there was something we hadn't 'come clean' about.

We couldn't deny the intensity of the Holy Spirit pressure we were feeling, so Koos went to the altar to get prayer and come clean. And something broke. And this morning, I got a revelation as to the magnitude of our 'cover up'.

Both Koos and I come from intensely messed up families. You name it, it has happened. Alcoholism, legalism, drug abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse, blah, blah, blah. You get the idea. And for some reason Koos and I have not been honest about it. We've not had the fortitude to say, "That was all really messed up, and we've suffered for it. And we still are suffering for it. And we will not stand by and let the next generation suffer for it." And it breaks our hearts. And we haven't wanted to deal with the pain. So, we've covered it up.

But God can't heal the cover up. And there is nothing we want more for our families than healing. As much as dysfunction is part of our ancestry, there is far more in the way of phenomenal gifting and talent. Both sides of our family tree contain musicians, artists, writers, speakers, caregivers and untapped reservoirs of love and devotion. But those gifts and talents have been pummeled and pulverized almost into oblivion. And it is a shame. It is beyond a shame, it is a travesty. A carefully and craftily devised plan to destroy what God has wonderfully created and Koos and I are no longer going to pretend it isn't happening.

You can cue the dramatic music here if you are so inclined, because what I am going to say next is going to sound like that part in a movie where the evil plot is finally revealed. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the reason our families have been so viciously and systematically attacked by the evil one is because, here it comes...

he knows that the Creator intended us for greatness and to do massive damage in the kingdom of darkness and he is scared. Should the full potential of our combined families be unleashed upon him, it would greatly hasten the day of his demise.

Duh, duh, duh...

The cover up is over, let the healing begin.

It Is Christmas

I have come to an unpleasant realization. Having a blog that one keeps up 'regularly' completely and utterly steals all the thunder from a yearly Christmas letter. I have done such a spectacular job at keeping everyone up to date with our goings-on that I have nothing for the grand finale. Dang it.

The last post was October and seriously, nothing much happened in November, so yeah, ummm....hmmmm.... I have been mulling this over for a week or so now, since the lights and trees and elf hats signal it is time to display my writing prowess, and nothing incredible has gone on in that number of days to give me anything to write about. Silly blog. Now what??

I guess I could tell you the obvious. Kael turned four in April, Calahn seven in July, Delaena nine in October and Brooke will be eleven in five days. Caitlind still lives here and we make her do all the housework, cook all the meals and babysit Kael. It is great. We all really like it, well, except for maybe Caitlind, but she's too busy for us to ask, so we just assume she likes it too.

We started the summer with six small goldfish in the pond in the backyard and we now have five fat goldfish in a tank in our TV room. We still have both tree frogs that we 'rescued' way back in October 2010 at Aunty Berta and Uncle Dale's. No one is quite sure how they are still surviving. In January 2011 we had an old, decrepit cat and an old, decrepit dog. We now have an old decrepit dog and a spastic, garbage-eating, shoe-chewing, door-escaping pup.

This Christmas season we've enjoyed so far, Calahn's voice and Brooke's piano recital. We still have Koos and Delaena's guitar recital coming up, and we just enjoyed the DCS Christmas performance. Kael proudly told us that he is not "just an angel" for his performance, but "an angel with a star". Makes me think of the new DQ ads.

The church hosted a potluck last Sunday which we guess about 200 people attended. A significant number were our friends from Boys Road. Koos was the MC and did an outstanding job. He directed people through food lines and kept them from rushing the dessert tables with pizzazz.

Koos is working four days a week for Lakeshore Auto Parts in Lake Cowichan. I have been working quite a few hours as an EA at the kids' school. That has actually been quite a bit of fun. I don't know that I've ever said that about a 'job' before.

Some highlights of the year that I may not have blogged about:

Tara, my Hay River soul mate and her husband Kelly had to make a trip to Vancouver, so Koos and I ditched the kids with Aunty Berta and Uncle Dale, hopped the ferry and spent a great day at the Body Worlds exhibition, enjoying fine cuisine and taking a death defying race-car style trip back to the ferry. Put Kelly behind the wheel of a fancy car and all kinds of craziness ensues. At several points in the journey I honestly thought I'd be meeting my Maker. "We have lots of people in here, we can use the bus lane!" But his skill won the day and he got us there just in time to catch what turned out to be the last Saturday ferry!

Koos and I went to a Brian Doerksen concert which time warped us back to our Vineyard days. They even performed our 'second wedding' song, which we probably hadn't listened to since our 'second wedding'!



We had a surprise visit from Paul and Debbie, some more amazing friends from Hay River. Literally, we walked into church one Sunday and they were sitting there. It was incredible! There was crying, laughing, hugs; great entertainment for our new church family who were watching the whole thing! Paul and Deb hung out for a week or so and played with the kids and we even made them work when Koos was offered a job doing some landscaping!

Caitlind's sister and our dear friend Paula, also from Hay River, and her two sons spent a week with us. We toured some kid friendly hot spots on the Island and ate a lot of yummy food and got her hooked on Facebook scrabble. The kids spent a few nights in the tent in the backyard. Our lazy way of dealing with the 'we want to go camping' bug.

Nana and Papa came all the way from Hines Creek to take us to Victoria to the Butterfly Garden and Bug World. Up to that point we had not ventured to Victoria because I was not prepared to deal with the dreaded "Malahat". Thanks to Nana and Papa, I'm over that now! We got a quick visit at the beach with Koos' brother Kevin and his family.

Our brave friend Elissa from Hay River drove down with her four kids to see their grandparents in Port Alberni, so we reunited with them for a day in Nanoose Bay for a blackberry picking, sea-creature trapping, adventuresome day. Her grandparents served us a delicious steak dinner, camp style. Such generous people considering we had never met them before.

The six of us and the annoying new puppy boarded a plane at Thanksgiving break to meet the newest member on my side of the family, in Calgary. We spent five fantastic days cuddling the new baby, playing with his big brother and reminiscing with Mama and Uncle Aaron over old 'slides' of our childhood days. I estimate Kael went down the water slide at the hotel at least 67 times. We counted, there were 50 stairs to the top. 3350 stairs in five days, no wonder he basically slept for a week after we got home. Aaron and Terra and Foster had also been on the Island to visit us in June.

We got to bless a whole bunch of little kids (and some bigger ones) on Boys Road with a shipment of sock monkeys from Caitlind's aunt and our incredibly talented cohort from Hay River, Jess.

So yeah, Kael is still pretty much a cute, extremely energetic and perhaps precocious, four year old. We think it may be retribution, but can't prove anything, that Caitlind has him obsessed with old video games. Mario Kart 64 and such. He's getting pretty good, but it has brought out an extremely competitive side in him, "Yoshi, you are evil. Princess Peach, stop being a little freak." Hmmmm....

Calahn is the class clown in the 1/2 room. A friend of ours brought us some 'dried meal worms' for a snack, as a joke. Calahn thought they tasted just like cheese flavored popcorn so she took them to school and convinced the teacher to try one along with some of her classmates. They ate the whole box! She was nervous for her voice recital, but when it was her turn, she was up on stage so fast introducing herself and ready to sing that the lady playing the piano hadn't even had time to find her music. Now Calahn is looking for every opportunity she can to perform. I think a monster has been created.

Here is a recent conversation between my oldest daughters which should give you an idea of how cheeky they are becoming:

Me, after having been up and down the stairs seventeen times for last minute items before leaving for school, and then discovering my glasses were up there, "Which one of you is my favorite daughter?"

Delaena, rolling her eyes and walking out the door to the truck,

"Brooke is."

Brooke, grabbing her backpack and following her sister out the door,

"Nope, not today Delaena."

So off I trudged up the stairs, for the eighteenth time, to get my own glasses, because that old trick doesn't work on them anymore, they've got me figured out.

And now I have come to a second unpleasant realization. I think I took the last year and all the blessings it held for granted. Friends and family who will travel here to see us. Fantastic, albeit flippant, children and low cost maid service and catering. Friends and family here who will put up with our every day insanity. Not to mention our new friends at Boys Road and fun, fantabulous Fridays at Teen Challenge. And a made-in-heaven family of fellow believers from Alberta, the Northwest Territories and now here on Vancouver Island. There are a lot of things I didn't write about.
Okay, no more complaining. Just looking back with gratitude and forward with expectation.

May this revelation be yours as well this holiday season.

With much love,
The Reintjes Family