A quarter of the way through 2010, Koos and I were presented with a decision we had to make. Some of you may jump ahead and conclude that we had to choose if we were going to move to Duncan or not. And knowing the surface details, that would be a good conclusion. But deep down, that wasn't the real decision. The real dilemma was, 'are we crazy or not?'.
Did Koos actually 'hear' God say, "Go help Rick and Deanna." or was it the product of being on night shift for too long and inhaling too many diesel fumes? Was his hard hat too tight? Trust me, I asked ALL the questions.
If Koos really wasn't just having a mid-life crisis, God was asking us to give up (materially) a six figure pay cheque and a lovely five bedroom house with a fully finished basement and three full bathrooms. (I am trying to sound like a real-estate ad on purpose.) Not to mention the majority of our earthly possessions because we could only take a small cargo trailer with us.
We had moved before at God's prompting, but - materially speaking - we were going to be 'making progress'. The pay cheque and the house would be bigger.
So in 'debating' whether or not this move was of God - (and yes, I have submitted a new definition for 'debating', which goes like this: to scream and shout loudly while including the occasional profanity and maintaining just enough to self control to not hurl objects at the opposition) - we thought it would comfort us to come up with a 'worse case scenario'.
And it was this: Worse case scenario, we get to Duncan, realize we aren't supposed to go to Brazil and have to start life all over. Starting life all over would entail finding a new job and purchasing a new house and getting re-established, not too big of a deal. We can do that.
Except. We can't. Oh, oh. Our current situation is in some ways worse than our worse case scenario. Now what? As far as we know, we are still going to Brazil. Sometime in 2013 hopefully. We hadn't really 'planned' on being here that long, so that was the first adjustment we had to make in our minds. And Koos found a job and there is a really neat house close to the school we would like to purchase.
But, we appear to have been done in by the current economy. Koos' pay cheque and the price of the house are not being friends, they are not co operating. In fact, Koos' cheque won't even qualify us to buy this place when our contract expires. We do not qualify for a mortgage on beautiful Vancouver Island.
I am wondering if I am in shock and denial, because this technically should be cause for panic and depression. This is some pretty good evidence that we may indeed be crazy. Bonkers. Completely out of our minds.
I am not panicking though and so far depression has kept to itself. The timing of this news was interesting, considering I had just posted a blog about Sonshine. Perhaps this is the first test of how solidly rooted this new joy thing really is.
And I am doing a second thing that is completely out of character. I am asking for help. We could really use some extra prayer and encouragement right now. Above and beyond what we are already blessed with. Especially some encouragement in the form of stories that go like this, "Once... we thought we were crazy, but in the end, the Creator sorted it all out and it was awesome." Yes, we'd really like some stories like that.
Have you ever thought the scenario you were in was worse than the worst case, but then were 'rescued'?
I have added a picture of our old house in Hay River for dramatic effect.
PS I don't miss the snow, just the house.